The Only Wish.

On a lonesome winter night, when he was strolling through the dreary realms of an old temple, lugubriously thinking of the past, dreaming of the my pathetic present and dreaming of the distant,vague future, which stared at him, right in the eye; asking for answers, for plans, just like his parents, and incessant relatives, who keep pestering him, asking him about his future. He tried absconding away from these questions, or to disappear when the  gaudy dressed aunty with body like a pile of tires, looked at him with those naughty and questioning [How can she do that!] eyes, and asked, ”Aage ka kya socha hai, shaadi kab kar rahe ho?”

It was a delirium tremens for him, a situation of apathy for himself, mixed with sadistic humour. Sadistic humour. “When your girlfriend, now ex, found your roommate stud and “understanding”. What? Is it my fault, that I have a family pack in contrast to his six packs, and a double chin, instead of his chiseled jaw? Ok, looks department I suck. Coming to think of it, I now wonder, how she could even fall for me. Now she calls it ‘Settle’. Whatever. And understanding, caring? That douche bag is dating two more chicks. IF only she knew it. Past.” thought He.

And Job. Haha. Apathy. That boss, nincompoop, who vents his mid life sexual frustration on fellow workers, giving them deadlines, which even he could not have met. Deadlines. Tomorrow, there is one such thing.

Thinking of all this, he trotted, plodded, silently. Kicking at everything on his way, everything, and anything.

*Clink*.

A metallic Aladdin Lamp kinda thing, HaHa! He laughed. Immediately, he pictured himself as Aladdin, with the raven haired scantily clad Jasmine, on that mat of a flying carpet, rubbing the dusty , rusty and brassy lamp. Rubbing. Rubbing.

*Whoosh* .He gaped. Mouthed ,’What the heck !’

A genie. A ‘heck’ing genie.

Just like in the movies, in the old book he read. Bald head, with a tuft of hair, those moustache, thin, Communisty, bare top, {he has a family pack too, nobody bothers, because he is a genie}. He smiled, growled.

A wish, your Highness!”

Okay, that had to be the most difficult decision of his life. Faces flashed by, Images flashed by. His mind started giving him options.”Should I get back with my ex? Or ask for a better and beautiful wife? Or kill my boss? Or that cholesterol stricken-fat- Bappi lahiri- competitor aunty? Shit! I should have prepared for this. So much to ask for. Or should I ask for ten more wishes.  NO! [genies are nut cracks; they can kill you if you are over smart].

At last, he came into a tryst with his brain. And said, in his crinkly, hoarse voice.

“An unlimited high speed internet connection for life”

And needless to say he lived happily ever after.

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